Age Has Some Benefits

 I Don’t Want To Be Demure or Respectable, by Mary Oliver

I don’t want to be demure or respectable.

I was that way, asleep, for years.

That way, you forget too many important things.

How the little stones, even if you can’t hear them,

are singing.

How the river can’t wait to get to the ocean and

the sky, it’s been there before.

What traveling is that!

It is a joy to imagine such distances.

I could skip sleep for the next hundred years.

There is a fire in the lashes of my eyes.

It doesn’t matter where I am, it could be a small room.

The glimmer of gold Böhme saw on the kitchen pot

was missed by everyone else in the house.

Maybe the fire in my lashes is a reflection of that.

Why do I have so many thoughts, they are driving me

crazy.

Why am I always going anywhere, instead of

somewhere?

Listen to me or not, it hardly matters.

I’m not trying to be wise, that would be foolish.

I’m just chattering.

Age does have some benefits, even though my dentist told me that there were none, while working on the root canal in my tooth. I used to be demure and respectable; indeed I wanted to be that kind of woman when I was 30 years younger. Age and becoming a grandparent have changed that. Respectable, yes. Demure, no.

My granddaughter has taught me the wonderful world of make-believe. No longer a realist, I can imagine unicorns jumping on my bed. My twin grandsons showed me that language is spoken in many ways and “Yuk” is their favorite. Like me in my “old age”, they repeat some things and that’s just fine. I sing songs now, not with the demure sounds of a church mouse, but with the childlike gusto of a toddler. Following the cues of my grandchildren, I can ask for help more readily. I can express my needs. I can say “NO” without guilt. I know that messes can be cleaned up and that nothing is missed except people and things they love.

I was asleep for years living in the land of respectability and demurity, forgetting to find joy in simple things like eating corn on the cob. Or eating ice cream and not worrying if it drips all over my clothes and covers most of my face. In that far away land of youth, I forgot too many important things, like the fact that life can be lived only one day at a time.

I found pleasure in watching my son-in-law build sand castles on the beach, and not being upset when my grandsons destroyed them. I marveled at the little stones in my front yard, deposited there by them, and got excited when we saw a baby bunny hop across our path. We chased birds and ate fish. It wasn’t just the river that couldn’t wait to get to the ocean. It was all of us.

I’m not going somewhere anymore. No, I am going anywhere that brings me such simple joys, offers me hope, and embraces life and love. I’m done with those thoughts that drive me crazy. It doesn’t matter to me where I find glimmers of gold; they are like fairy dust, showing up unexpectedly in my life and not in my bank account. Really, listen to me or not. I’m not trying to be wise, that would be foolish. I’m just chattering to myself, which is another benefit of “old age.” 

Shake Off the Dust

 Church of the Redeemer, Chestnut Hill    The Rev. Nancy E. Gossling            Mark 6:1-13

“Wherever you enter a house, stay there until you leave the place. If any place will not welcome you and they refuse to hear you, as you leave, shake off the dust that is on your feet as a testimony against them.”

            Shake off the dust that is on your feet when someone does not welcome you. When people reject you, leave and shut the door behind you. If people are not willing to hear your message, then go. Testify and be witnesses to people who are willing to listen about the power of God.

This one little snippet of the gospel of Mark has so much power in its words that I have struggled to unpack it. I thought about basketball since my husband and I are season ticket holders for the Boston Celtics. It all began for us in 1973 when our first date was a fierce game of one on one. Paul claims that he won; my truth reads differently. He claims that he gave me an unfair advantage; I don’t see it that way. This is how we roll in politics and 47 years of married life.

We have been to several basketball games this past season as the Celtics ended their run to the playoffs. Limping along with injuries and the effects of COVID 19, they were defeated in Game 5 by the Brooklyn Nets. Have you heard of Kyrie Irving, one of the Nets point guards? He played for the Celtics basketball team until he disappeared from some crucial games, with no explanation. He made public promises that were broken. He made pejorative comments about fans. Later he spoke about mental health and his own personal struggles. 

Many Celtics fans took offense at what some considered unprofessional behavior. Salaries were high, especially in comparison to health care workers and teachers. When, claiming his 1st Nations heritage, Irving smudged TD Garden before a game, and people wondered who and what needed cleansing? In his defense, people argued that we needed to separate the basketball star from the person, the game of hoops from the life and faith of Kyrie Irving.

Jesus had already been questioned by his family and friends before he arrived in Nazareth. Was he demon-possessed and crazy, some people wondered? Like Irving, there were questions about his mental health. Upon his arrival in Nazareth, attending his home synagogue, Jesus was also rejected, despite having done many deeds of power before then. He had cured women, children, and men who were suffering from all sorts of diseases, and then tamed the sea during an unexpected storm. What’s not to like about that?

Now I am not comparing Jesus, our Messiah, to Kyrie Irving, the basketball star, but they both might be described as prophets. Prophets speak the truth as they see it, especially in difficult and highly charged times. They speak truth to power and to the powerless; and people often “take offense” at their words. Prophets do not always agree with each other. Often, they are not welcome on their home courts, in their hometowns, in their synagogues, churches, or mosques, nor even in their own families.

Hospitality in biblical times was of paramount importance. To not welcome anyone, whether a stranger or a guest, not to mention a relative or a friend, was considered a major sin. “If people don’t welcome you,” Jesus told his disciples, “then shake the dust off your feet and leave.”

After the smudging incident, Kyrie Irving, now as a member of the Brooklyn Nets, avoided every chance to return to TD Garden during the regular season. He knew that his reception would not be favorable, indeed unwelcome, and whether it was dealing with the media, the fans, or his rejection, some thought that he could not face the music. Playoff games were a different story however; he knew he would have to show up. So, to protect himself, as some people claimed, he made comments about how racist the Boston crowd is.

Paul and I were at TD Garden when Kyrie Irving returned. To say that he was rejected is an understatement. The fans booed him every time he touched the ball. Every single time! Relentless, they mocked him, using expletives to express their anger, and rejected him in every way possible. While no racist comments were noted publicly, one young man threw a water bottle at Irving on his way out. But right before that, Irving made his own statement of rejection. He purposely walked to center court, stepped on the Celtics logo, and then wiped his sneaker across the floor.

Commentators were outraged and confused. Some called it unprofessional; others claimed that his behavior had been done before by others. Boos and gestures are just part of the game, they said, and Irving later acknowledged. His silent message, however, raised some questions for me. Was he responding in kind to the behavior he had just experienced from the fans? Like basketball, what goes around comes around. Was he telling everyone that the Nets would win the next game and therefore he would not be coming back?

Recalling this passage from scripture, I wondered if Irving was claiming his identity not only as a basketball player, and a great one at that, but also as a prophet? Was he speaking truth to the crowd without using any words? Knowing he was not welcome there, his gesture was a testimony against the people whom he was leaving behind. To shake the dust off one’s feet is an act of disapproval. In effect, the message says, “I’m done with you.” As St. Francis of Assisi once said, “Preach the gospel at all times. If necessary, use words.” 

Now, before this game, at the urging of colleagues, and sitting on the sidelines with an injury, a Celtics player, another basketball star and a prophet in his own right, named Jaylen Brown, spoke to the media about systemic racism, about Boston fans, and the truth as he saw it. Quote, “I think racism right now is bigger than basketball,” he stated. “I think that racism is bigger than Game 3 of the Playoffs. So I want to urge the media to paint that narrative as well, because when it’s painted in that manner, it’s insensitive to people who are actually dealing with racism on a daily basis,” said Jaylen Brown, who also recognized his privilege as an athlete and the power of his spoken words.

In the game of basketball, a defensive foul is committed when one player aggressively blocks another player, causing the potential for injury. Offensive fouls are when a player aggressively moves to the basket and sends the defender flying. Such sacrifices are considered “taking one for the team.” Fouls are part of the game of basketball and of life; and in truth, we all give and take offenses. We foul and we do harm, consciously and unconsciously, individually and as part of systems.

The people of Nazareth took offense at Jesus. Why? Because he revealed an amazing power to heal people, not harm them, and yet they knew him only as the carpenter’s son, and not as a prophet. How dare he show anyone another truth about himself? And so, his family, friends, and people rejected him. They wanted him to behave according to their standards. And in response, Jesus acknowledged that “prophets are not without honor except in their hometowns.” He tells his disciples that if people do not welcome them, then they should leave. Shake the dust off your feet and move on to others who will listen, believe, and be healed.

Now, I know that we have many issues in our country, with systemic racism and mental health being among them. In no way do I want to minimize their importance; I know the reality of racism, and sexism, and ageism. I find the uptick in hate crimes and violence to be worrisome; and this past year we all have struggled to maintain our physical and mental health. And yet I can also testify that we each hold many identities. I identify as a prophet, priest, and pastor. I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother, and grandmother. I am a baptized Christian, a fan of certain teams, and I can testify to many truths.

Unless I walk in another person’s shoes, I will never fully understand their personal experiences, their motivations, nor their intentions. I also know that I don’t have to take offense if someone is throwing shade at me, or bottles, or making abusive comments. I can leave the court. I can walk away from my hometown. I can speak my truth without shouting expletives at the ones who have hurt me.

Moving on does not mean letting go, however. Just as the Celtics have plenty of work to do on improving their games, so do we, as citizens of this great country. Jaylen Brown spoke specifically about racism in Boston. Quote, “I know that every Celtics fan in the arena is not a racist,” stated Brown. “We have people of all walks of life, ethnicities, colors, that are die-hard Celtics fans. So, I think by painting every Celtics fan as a racist would be unfair. However, in Boston we have got a lot of work to do. No question. The incarceration rate is ridiculous. The wealth disparity is embarrassing. The inequality in education specifically in Boston public schools needs to be better.” (End quote)

Jesus was a preacher and a prophet in his own day, sharing multiple identities, eventually not only a carpenter’s son, and a prophet, but also the Son of God. He spoke His truths to power and to the powerless because He acted with the power of God's Spirit. He used his words and gestures to respectfully show that God’s love is the greatest weapon of all to combat human sin. Despite being rejected by his own people, at his last supper, he wrapped a towel around his waist and wiped the dust off His disciples’ feet. Then He got up and took one for the team.  

When we each claim our identities as beloved children of God, created equally in the image of God, and tapping into the power of God’s Spirit, we can be prophets in our own right. We can testify to God’s love for everyone, no exceptions. As disciples of Jesus, traveling two by two, we can help heal our society of its “isms” and illnesses. Preach the gospel at all times. And use words if necessary.