Triggers and Glimmers

 

The Rev. Nancy E. Gossling     Triggers and Glimmers      Twelfth Sunday after Pentecost          

            I recently finished reading a book which was a fictional story about a mass shooting. The author claimed that she had no experience with such a horrific event and pleaded mercy and understanding from those who have endured such tragedies. Standing at arm’s length, as I read this story, I was triggered by some memories.

          Both of our children attended Sandy Hook School in Connecticut. At the time of the shooting both of our children lived far away, and Paul and I lived in another town in Connecticut. I was driving home from the gym and listening to the news when the story broke. As soon as I got home I turned on the T.V. and watched with horror. Questions flooded the airwaves. Fear prevailed. Sorrow mingled with anger. How could this be?

          Joseph was betrayed by his own brothers and sold into slavery in Egypt. (Genesis 45:1-15)  Seeing them again when they arrived many years later during a famine, he listened to his brothers beg for food for their family. Clearly Joseph must have been triggered by their sight. Perhaps the anger that he might have felt initially had cooled over the years and yet the reality of cold-hearted resentment was a real possibility. Joseph could kill them, deny them, and expose them for their previous hard-hearted actions. What then did Joseph do? He rejoiced loudly with tears. He told his brothers that “God has sent me before you to preserve life.”

Here was a glimmer of hope embedded in a story that triggered strong and potentially dangerous emotions! Here was an old testament story of forgiveness and reconciliation. The psalmist rejoices. “Oh, how good and pleasant it is, when brethren live together in unity! It is like fine oil upon the head that runs down upon the beard, upon the beard of Aaron, and runs down upon the collar of his robe. It is like the dew of Hermon that falls upon the hills of Zion.” (Psalm 133)

Wars and divisions, conflicts between friends and family, betrayals, wildfires and famines become ‘crimes against humanity’ when left unchecked. We search for answers about “how this came to be” and “how it might be resolved.” Was this tragedy an act of pure evil? Did a mental illness cause the murders? Are substance abuses the reason for these violent outbursts? Or did prescribed medications, which were intended to help, turn deadly instead? Who and what is to blame for these tragedies?

We wonder what exactly triggered these heinous acts; for if we knew some answers, some reasons for the inexplicable, then maybe, just maybe we can prevent them from happening again. “Jesus called the crowd to him and said to them, “Listen and understand: it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but it is what comes out of the mouth that defiles. For out of the heart come evil intentions, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person.”  (Matthew 15: 10-20)

When confronted with a misbehavior, my grandson had an answer for his father. “Don’t blame me,” he said. “God made me this way.” Is God, our creator, then to blame for our sinful actions? If it wasn’t the devil who made us “do it” but rather God, why then did God create us like this? If all evil intentions come from within our hearts, as Jesus had said, how then shall we keep our hearts clean?

          The Canaanite woman was begging Jesus to heal her daughter, who apparently was being tormented by demons. (Matthew 15: 21-28)  Our local news often leads with stories like these. A young man shoots an executive in the back because insurance coverage and doctors haven’t alleviated his back pain. A young mother has been accused, and pleaded guilty, for murdering her three young children. A trans man shoots an evangelical Christian for his political and religious views. To be honest I can’t read the details of these trials without it triggering some unpleasant reactions and murderous thoughts within me; but I haven’t been able to avoid the headlines.

Conspiracy theories abound when we don’t like the possibilities of evil, or even the possibilities of the ugly truth. Our trigger fingers get happy; and so we will point an imaginary gun at our enemies. Surely they are at fault and we are innocent. Surely this didn’t happen the way we’ve been told. And who exactly is to blame for their misbehavior? We look for some glimmers of hope, which may only be based upon lies, falsehoods, prejudice, and blindness rather than the truth.

“”We cannot always fully understand why someone would do something terrible. And that’s part of why we can’t look away,’ said Kathryn Coduto, assistant professor of media science at Boston University. “It’s also where conspiracy theories come from, because a conspiracy theory is an attempt to make the world make sense when it doesn’t.’” (Boston Globe, 8/14/26)  And so we claim that religion is our attempt to make sense of the nonsense.          

According to her defense attorneys, postpartum depression, psychiatric medications that caused hallucinations, voices, and psychosis apparently caused this mother to murder her three young children. Conversely the prosecution points to premeditated behavior. As a woman who knows first hand the strength of hormones and who has witnessed the demonic behavior of others suffering from mental illness and addiction, I am triggered by this story. When confronted with unstable people on my walks, I become like the disciples of Jesus. Ignore them. Don't respond to their requests. Just keep on walking. Or I model Jesus in his initial response. Curing people like you is not in my ministry portfolio.

          Triggering events, however, can also offer us glimmers of hope hidden within them. Sometimes we have to look particularly hard to find them but they are always there. It’s just a matter of where you turn your gaze and to whom and to what you might listen. Eventually, after some “back and forth” with this woman, Jesus, apparently walking within “enemy territory," saw not a Canaanite, not a Palestinian nor a Gentile, but rather he saw a mother begging for mercy for her daughter. In a reversal of response, perhaps even after a change of his heart, this Jewish rabbi commended her faith and granted her wish.

          For those of us who believe in God, we claim that God is omni-present, omniscient, and all powerful. Theologians define God’s attributes as four-fold: unity, good, true, and beautiful. Succinctly defined, we profess that “God is love” regardless of our religious affiliation, socio-economic status, or lifestyle. Love forgives, heals, and unifies.

In one way or another, we are all imprisoned by our imperfect humanity, and so it is through God’s own mercy that we are released and set free. “For God has imprisoned all in disobedience so that he may be merciful to all,” St. Paul, a murderer in his own right, wrote to the Christians in Rome. (Romans 11:1-2a, 29-32) And “my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples,” Isaiah proclaimed long before Jesus appeared on the scene. (Psalm 133)

          I received the unfortunate bad news recently of a friend and a family member, both of whom had been recently diagnosed with horrible diseases. Like the woman who begged Jesus for help, I too prayed, “Lord, have mercy.” Additionally, despite the triggering thoughts that followed my receiving this bad news, I looked for little glimmers of hope in the messes. I was reminded of that old saying, “If you don’t like what you see out of one window, then go look out another one.” So I looked up rather than down. I hoped Jesus would hear me, “clean my heart," and restore my faith. I remembered that God is good and that Life is forevermore.

“It is like the dew of Hermon that falls upon the hills of Zion. For there the Lord has ordained the blessing: life for evermore.” (Psalm 133)  And so I count my blessings every day and I keep looking for those glimmers of hope even in the messes. 

Genesis 45:1-15    Isaiah 56: 1-8    Psalm 133    Romans 11:1-2a, 29-32    Matthew 15: 10-20, 21-28