Come to Believe

Epiphany Church, Winchester, MA                                                The Rev. Nancy E. Gossling

           

I’ve worshipped a lot of things in my life, most of the time not even realizing it. When I first began my vocation as a priest, I was horrified by an article in the local newspaper introducing me. The headline read, “Clothes and money held her fancy before Christ.” At first I was taken aback because I’ve never been much of a ‘clothes horse’ and while I love to shop for food, not so much for clothing. My first full-time job, however, was as an assistant buyer for Filene’s in Boston. (Not in the basement!) I was “into” buying clothes for other people, and selling those clothes to make money for the store.

            As for money, I grew up in a family of financial conservatism; in fact, my mother, proudly called herself, ‘Miss Pinch Penny.’ Similarly, my father was diligent in counting the costs of everything, and so I became not only reluctant to spend money but anxious to save it. Naturally, when I found my job working in retail clothing to be tiresome, I switched careers to banking. I figured I could help people save their money and help them to spend it wisely. No wonder the headline said that “clothes and money” held my fancy before Christ. No fake news there!

            I’ve also worshipped a lot of people in my life, again most of the time not even realizing it. Before ordination, a friend of mine liked to remind me of a statement I made in a Bible study long ago. I had decided to make Jesus first in my life and proudly told the small group about my decision. Number 1, numero Uno, top of the family tree, church hierarchy, and the corporate ladder, Christ would now hold my fancy. At the time, I’m sure my parish priest was thrilled, a man that I worshipped right alongside of Jesus. My husband Paul, however, was a little nervous; and so, I remember the words of my daughter, who said, “That’s OK Mom. Why don’t you just love us all the same?”

I have come to realize over the years that there is a difference between love and worship. You see, over the many years of my life, unknowingly, I had slowly become more absorbed with people and things as the source of my happiness and salvation. It was not in God that I trusted but rather in our back account. Increasingly, I looked to things of this world rather than to Christ for true freedom, unconditional love, and ultimate security. No human being nor any material thing can ever bear such an unreasonable expectation or burden.

At some point, probably because of a growing unhappiness with my life, and a realization that I was barking up the wrong tree, my soul became hungry and thirsty for something else, for something immaterial, intangible, and not of this world. Perhaps coincidentally, I was beginning to see that my idols had clay feet. I remember a neighbor of mine also challenging me, saying, “Nancy, you can’t keep riding the fence. At some point you need to decide.” And so, I decided to follow Jesus.

Jesus said, “Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood abide in me, and I in them.” Even now, my most immediate response, even as a priest, is to say “Ew, gross. Who would want to do that?” No wonder the Jews were offended by Jesus’ words and complained about Him. No wonder the early church critics accused Christians of being cannibals. No wonder there was confusion about who Jesus was and what He was saying.

My own faith journey began very early in life, although I didn’t know it or understand it at the time. Fascinated by things that are holy and mysterious, and different from but similar to my own real-world experiences, I was drawn to stories about people.The Bible, I discovered, had plenty of them. From the very beginning, these stories told me about human drama and divine love, journeys about lost ways and liberation, death and life, and of families just like mine. In my high school yearbook, underneath my picture, I was quoted as saying that I lived in “East Jesus.” I lived on Journey’s End Road.

When I felt called to leave parish ministry five years ago as a full-time rector, and serve Christ in a different way, the road to me was unclear; indeed it remains filled with twists and turns even now. At first I reclaimed my fundamental identity as a beloved child of God, and then I began calling myself a “free agent in Christ.” Like Jesus and St. Paul, I became a missionary and evangelist. Two years ago, I attended a conference called Evangelism Matters because I thought, if I’m going to be a missionary and evangelist, I need to know how to proclaim my fancy for Christ, without feeling awkward and embarrassed.

I relish the words in today’s letter to the Ephesians. When feeling unclear about where I’m going and what I’m doing, and feeling that my flesh is useless, I am reminded to “be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his power.” Walking has become a spiritual discipline and a form of prayer for me. It is a time when my thoughts and feelings rise to the surface, and I do battle with many people and things: you know those rulers, authorities, and forces of evil that seek to corrupt and destroy the creatures and creation of God. I am often encouraged by God when I remember stories about real people. I see Jesus walking on the streets and riding on the subways. I hear the Word of God spoken.

Recently I traveled to Charleston, South Carolina; and while sitting on a bench in the shade, and taking a break from the strong South Carolina sun, a young girl approached me. She was accompanied by a man and two other young girls. Stretching out her hand, she offered me a business card, and asked me if I already had one. Thinking she was selling me a product, I looked down and saw a black card with the letters DZHENOU. Not wanting to be rude, and feeling a bit cornered, silently berating myself for sitting down and becoming an easy target, I said, “No, I had not.” And then I got ready to say, “No, thank you” while getting up, and returning to my walk.

What she said next, however, shocked me. “Do you know Jesus?” she asked. Laughing, and recovering from my misguided expectation, I responded, “Yes, matter of fact, I do.” I also thought to myself, “Great. I’ll tell her I’m a priest and then we’ll all move on.” What followed next was a delightful and mutual conversation in which we talked about our lives, our faith journeys, and why Jesus was important to us. Baptists from Oklahoma, these young folks were on a mission trip. Not pounding nails or painting houses, as I have done, they just engaged people in conversations as they walked the streets in various cities throughout the south.

Now you and I both know that South Carolina is different from these New England states. And so, handing out cards and talking to strangers on the street, isn’t part of our culture. Which is why I like those three simple words of Simon Peter in today’s gospel lesson: “Come to believe.” I know that we must come to something, perhaps a brick wall, a failed relationship, a fork in the road, a park bench in the shade, a 12 step meeting, a church, an illness, or even our journey’s end before something or someone comes to us. First we come, and then we come to, and then we decide. Do I turn back, or do I come to believe in a power greater than me?

God understood our human predicament. God knew that we needed something more, something material, something real like human flesh and blood to speak to us directly and to show us the Way of God’s Love. And so the Word of God became flesh and dwelt among us. See me, Jesus said, and you will know God. Listen to me, Jesus said, and you will hear God. Believe in me, He said, and you will have eternal life with God.

When we come to know Jesus, and come to believe in Him, we begin to see God everywhere. Like Simon Peter, we will confess, “Lord to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life, and I have come to believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.” No matter where we go on our journey, we can stand firm in our faith because we know that God is our beginning and our journey’s end. We know that Jesus is resurrection and life, and that our spirits can ascend and descend like Jesus, returning us to where we began long ago, and fast forwarding us into a future beyond our imagination.

DZHENOU means “Does He know You.” And I can answer, “Yes, He knows you, and He knows me.” But a more critical question remains, “Do You Know Him?” Do you know Jesus?

Evangelism Matters. Get to know Jesus, and then find your own way to tell the story of God’s unfailing, unconditional, and eternal love. Fancy Christ more than clothes or money. Like St. Paul, put on the whole armor of God; pray fervently, persevere, and speak boldly. In so doing, you may save a life. Perhaps even your own.

Kings 8: 22-30, 41-43
Psalm 84 or 84:1-6
Ephesians 6:10-20
John 6:56-69